The next two months will be crucial for the Jan Manolis Family Safe Center (JMFSC), as it holds some of its major fundraisers in October — which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month — and November.

“Our fundraisers are extremely important to our program,” said director Jan Manolis, who began the family violence program in Huron in the early 1980s. “Our community has been wonderful. We couldn’t do this work without community support. They invite us to do public speaking, they include us in their budgets, they make donations. It’s been absolutely wonderful. It’s what has kept us going.”

The fundraisers begin Sunday, with the annual Elks pancake breakfast from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Elks Lodge / Fire Pit Pizzeria, 460 Dakota Ave. S. Manolis said volunteers and advocates with the program will serve customers and clean up.

“We get it ready for the pancakes and the Elks do the cooking,” she said.

The Dweebs, a family band featuring Michael Blue, his two sons and his daughter who will bring their zany show with colorful costumes, crazy stage antics and crowd participation to Huron on Saturday, Nov. 16, from 8 to 11 p.m. at the Huron Event Center. The Dweebs bring all the favorite hits of the 1960s through today.

Just Desserts will be held Friday, Nov. 22, at Coborn’s from 8 a.m. until all the goodies are gone. The treats will be made by board members, advocates and friends of the domestic violence program.

“Then we will start selling the Prime Time gift cards the day after Thanksgiving,” Manolis said. “Lots of people purchase those for Christmas gifts. We will sell out of those cards probably in two weeks. We will have 200 cards. People are already calling to ask if we’re going to have them, and yes, we are.”

The Prime Time gives the family violence center half of the proceeds from selling the $50 gift cards.

“Our October and November are very busy months,” Manolis added.

All of this is in addition to the work the JMFSC does both day and night to help victims of domestic violence find the courage to make a difference in their lives.

“It’s our mission to offer shelter and services for victims to build self-esteem and confidence so they may live freely and independently,” Manolis said. “We have survivors tell us that it was their fault. They argued or they didn’t keep the kids quiet, so it was their fault that they were abused.

“But that’s just not the case,” she added. “Abusers have options. They don’t have to hit, they don’t have to pull hair, they don’t have to kick partners down the stairs, they don’t have to beat them. They have choices, and when they decide to be violent with their loved ones, they are making the wrong choices.”

Manolis said it can be hard to share that there is violence in the home. “Some cultures feel they don’t want violence to be public, so they don’t report it,” Manolis said. “Confidentiality is very important to us. When we help someone, we do everything we can to keep it confidential, that is extremely important.”

Calls to the shelter are occasionally made by the victim, but many times Manolis said they will receive calls from the police, the sheriff’s office, the emergency room, and even clergy, who are aware of the abuse.

“We used to think we would get the most calls at 2 o’clock in the morning, and sometimes it does,” Manolis said. “Now we find more frequently it happens during the day, when the abuser may be at work.

“The big cities will be overflowing with people for the holidays, they turn away victims because they are so full,” she added. “But in South Dakota, I believe that most victims would keep a family together over the holidays. We are more family-oriented here and mom doesn’t want to disrupt the family holidays to leave.”

When they get a call they will meet with the victim, either at her home, police station or emergency room. “We’ll offer our services. We will let her know what we can do, but the choice is hers,” Manolis said.

“When the police call us, they’ll say we have the abuser in custody and it is safe for you to come here,” she added. “I wouldn’t let any of our advocates go into a dangerous situation. That’s no help to a victim at all. They will bring the victim to us or have the scene secure so we can go there.”

Domestic violence, behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other, can be seen across all walks of life, income levels and nationalities.

“Sometimes a victim will say I need to get to my mother’s house in Rapid City and she needs gas money or a bus ticket,” she said. “We don’t just provide shelter services.”

In the United States, an average of 24 people per minute are victims of abuse. That’s more than 12 million men and women over the course of a single year. Victims face the greatest risk in abusive relationships when they attempt to leave.

On average, it takes a woman seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship for good. Reasons can range from fear of having nowhere to go to a deep sense of shame for what is happening in their home.

“You have to have a heart for doing this, and it has to be a passion of yours because you will get involved,” Manolis said. “Our advocates, our volunteers and our staff all have that passion, or they wouldn’t be able to do this work.”

If you need help getting out of an abusive relationship, call the Jan Manolis Family Safe Center hotline numbers: 605-350-6663 or 605-350-6690. The JMFSC office number, which is also answered 24/7 is 605-554-0398, or toll free 1-855-725-0626.