HURON — Many couples seeking to start a family initially struggle to conceive. Some seek assistance through various medical methods to enhance the likelihood of getting pregnant.
Others choose to build their family in other ways, like adoption.

Twenty-nine years ago, Steve and Kris Gohn chose the latter to start their family. Now, as they watch their four children explore young adulthood, the Gohns have been honored by U.S. Representative Dusty Johnson (R-SD) as “Angels in Adoption” honorees for 2024.

When asked how the journey toward adoption began, Kris chuckled, “That was a long time ago!”

“We didn’t care if our children were biological or through adoption,” Steve recalled. “After trying for a little bit, we decided to focus on the adoption angle.”

“Steve’s family had experience with adoption,” Kris remembers. “Then we made a number of friends who were also involved in adoption or had adoption as part of their family, so there were a lot of people around us.”

Kris believes that the friends that were in their life were intentionally there.

“I fully believe that God put those people in our life,” she smiled.

The Gohns connected with Lutheran Social Services (LSS), and they attended a workshop on adoption. The process moved quickly, with Kris recalling that less than a year after that first workshop that they brought home their daughter, Madisyn.

The Gohns built their family through open adoption, which was really a new concept at the time.

Open adoption allows for open communication and relationship building between the birth family, the adoptive family, and the person who has been adopted.

“With our first open adoption experience, we were a bit more hesitant, not really knowing what to expect,” Steve said. “We wanted time with Maddy to learn how to be parents and be confident in our role. And (Madisyn’s birth mother, Sheri) was amazing. She showed us grace and openly communicated with us, and it really made us feel more confident about going forward in the process.”

The Gohns immediately began the process to adopt again, with a little more than two years going by before they adopted their oldest son, Riley.

“We always thought we wanted three kids, but at the time LSS’s policy was to only place two children” Kris explained. “LSS would do our home study, but they would not place other children through their adoption program. They were encouraging us toward the option of adopting internationally.”

The first option presented to the Gohns was to adopt from Colombia. The idea of staying in a foreign country that was not necessarily a safe country at the time for an extended time with a young family did not appeal to the Gohns. Then, the idea of adopting transracially was broached to the couple.

“We were open to all races. We just wanted a family,” Kris smiled.

Again, connecting with friends with similar adoptive interests and experiences helped the Gohns on their journey. Through their close friends in the community, they found an agency to pursue their third adoption.

The couple went to Utah to adopt Payson, but, as Kris recalls, adopting transracially is different.

Transracial adoption is more visual, and it places more attention on the child, resulting in more overt questions being asked. The Gohns are very open and proud that adoption is how their family was created; however, they also understood that that placed additional hurdles for their children who were of a different race.

That initial experience in transracial adoption with Payson spurred Kris and Steve to consider another transracial adoption. “We knew right away that we would adopt again,” Kris reflected.

Their journey to adopt their youngest son, Marrien was quick and within one year he had joined their family. At that point, Kris stated that the family was complete. “Our arms were full,” Steve laughed.

The relationships formed with the birth families led to a wide extended family for the Gohns and their children. Within their home, the Gohns have a sign that states that they do not have a family tree; they have a family orchard.

Those open adoption family connections have been positive for their younger sons as they navigated the world as Black young men. Steve and Kris recalled that the relationship with Marrien’s birth brother, Damien, allowed Payson and Marrien to have a connection to a strong, Black male mentor in 2020 when racial unrest swept the country.

Having that “mirror” for their sons to see someone in a similar racial background was a huge asset, and the Gohns reflected that Huron is blessed to have a number of adoptive families who can be that sort of mirror for parents and children both.

All four children are now grown and beginning their adult lives, with the first wedding of a child this year and another wedding planned for next summer.

Days like a wedding are important family milestones and are attended by ALL of their family - adoptive and birth family included.

Kris’s experience led to a new career journey for her as her children left home. She left her long-time career as a speech language pathologist as Payson and Marrien graduated and began a new career working with All About U Adoptions. She works as a social worker, counseling and supporting expectant women who are considering adoption as well as families who are wanting to adopt.

She explained that her work really was another blessing, one that she found as she was scrolling through social media.
Looking back at their journey, both Steve and Kris are adamant that their adoptive journey has significantly shaped their lives.

“Getting to be their mom is the greatest privilege of my life,” Kris said, with a catch in her throat.

“I am a better human because of adoption. In our life, there has been no greater gift, no greater magic, no greater happiness, and no greater reward than the privilege of being the ones they call mom and dad.”

Steve agreed, “This is everything we ever wanted - and more.”